Love or Blame: Which do you choose?

Have you had one of these days that left you internally screaming? I was talking to my mom about her granddaughter’s itchy skin. And I could tell this conversation was not going in the direction I had hoped. She simply didn’t understand what I was going through. She was trying, yet she just couldn’t. I called another friend, hoping she could potentially give me some tips or encouragement. Better yet, just listen. Yep, unavailable. Reached out to my husband at work…busy.
Let the Scream Fest begin. (Insert screaming, stomping, and steam rising out of ears)

According to a study done at The Children’s Hospital at Westmead, the stress level of parents of children under 5, with moderate to severe eczema is comparable to parents of those with severe disabilities. No wonder I felt alone and stressed! Making it worse, it seems when I was at my breaking point, I took it out on my husband. Quite frankly, it was unfair. We are suppose to be partners in this together, not pointing fingers and saying who stinks at this the most.

We realized this was causing tiny little fractures in my marriage and one day, those cracks would start to reveal themselves unless we stopped this vicious cycle. I had to come to the realization that I spent the most time with our daughter, therefore a lot of the responsibility fell on me. Instead of being upset at this fact, I’m embracing it.

Goal: Appreciation. Here’s something I did to show him that I appreciated him. Each night after work, I offered that he take the first hour home to do whatever he so desired (nap, watch tv, play, etc) before I asked for him for help or add to his Honey Do list. This seemed to distress us both. Strange, but true!

 

This may or may not work for you, so share with us! What can you do to show appreciation to your spouse?

One thought on “Love or Blame: Which do you choose?

  1. Uhura! says:

    Great blog post! Empathy & making reasonable requests go a long way in a marriage – especially when there are special circumstances. A+ SMN Blog 🙂 Your question was: What can you do to show appreciation to your spouse? My answer: Say it! Say “Thank you.”
    or… “I really appreciate when you ____.” and add a follow up statement about how what your spouse did resulted in a positive thing for you.

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